Mother who fell for a '£25K-a-month' IT consultant she met online reveals how her life was 'ruined' when she learned he was actually BANKRUPT - as she warns against 'no strings' dating sites

EXCLUSIVE: Marie Cotter joined an affairs website after marriage breakdown 

Began dating Ashley who told Marie that he would leave his wife to be with her 

After joining her family on holiday Ashley said he could no longer see Marie

The mother discovered that he had not left his wife and was listed as bankrupt despite initially claiming that he earned £25,000 a month as an IT consultant 

When her marriage ended, mother of three Marie Cotter, 38, decided she wanted a no strings relationship – and joined an affairs website.

But she says what began as some fun has now ruined her life.

After being bombarded with shocking photos from tens of men showing their private parts, the man she began dating spun her a web of lies. 

IT consultant Ashley, 50, said he earned £25,000 a month but the reality was he was bankrupt. 

And while he told Marie he’d fallen in love with her and had left his wife of 30 years, the truth was he was very much married. 

The couple met on a 'no strings' website after separated Marie - nervous about embarking on a new relationship - decided it would be 'wrong' to sign up to a site full of people looking for long-term love.  

Marie Cotter joined an affairs dating website after the break down marriage lead her to look for a no-strings attached relationship. Pictured: Marie with Ashley whom she met online

Following her relationship with Ashley his wife messaged Marie to say she was one of many her husband had met over years spent trawling affairs websites.

Now Marie, from Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire, wants to warn other women not to be tempted as she was to join the site - which she said was called No Strings Affairs - or one like it.

The store assistant, whose children are aged 20, 16, and six, said: ‘When my marriage ended I wanted to go on a few dates but I wasn’t ready for a full-blown relationship.

The mother-of-three said that joining the site 'ruined her life' after she fell for Ashley (pictured with Marie) who the unceremoniously left her

'I felt it would be wrong to join a website where most people are looking for long-term love. So the affairs site seemed the perfect solution.

‘I didn’t feel guilty about dating a married man. I reasoned if a man were on that website his marriage was over anyway and if he didn’t date me, he would simply date someone else.

‘However, in hindsight I was naive. I believed the people I met would be honest as I am. I thought I would meet someone like me – newly out of a relationship who just wanted some company and some laughs. How wrong I was.’

Marie was newly single when in August last year she joined a ‘no strings’ website.

She said: ‘Obviously I hadn’t dated for years and I was horrified when I kept getting naked photos from weirdos. So when Ashley contacted me and seemed really chatty I was simply relieved to have met a man who seemed normal.’

Marie said that Ashley had listed himself on the site as 'unhappily married' and the pair began meeting up regularly 

Out of the blue Ashley told her that he had left his wife and even joined Marie and her three children on a family holiday to Kos 

Ashley, who lived 128 miles away in Bournemouth, said on his profile he was ‘unhappily married.’

The couple exchanged emails.

Recalls Marie: ‘Ashley said he worked in IT and earned around £25,000 a month. He had two children and he and his wife remained together for their sake. He made it sound as if they were very young but in fact I later discovered they were in their twenties.’

A fortnight later Ashley drove to meet Marie for drinks. ‘My first thought was he wasn’t my type – he was short and slightly camp. But he was a good listener and it was lovely to have someone to talk to. I confided in him about how my ex and I had grown apart while he told me how he and his wife lived like brother and sister.

‘They no longer made love and were simply together out of habit.’

Over the next ten months Ashley regularly drove to see Marie.

Marie was shocked when she one day received a message from Ashley saying he could no longer see her as well as offensive messages from his wife

She also discovered that he was bankrupt after initially telling her that he earned £25,000 a month as an IT consultant 

‘He would lavish me with gifts – he often arrived with a beautiful piece of jewellery, some chocolates or wine. If I said one day I liked some perfume, he’d turn up with it a few days later.

‘Often we’d stay in a local hotel for the afternoon – but it wasn’t just about sex. We would talk for hours on end. At the time it seemed the perfect escapism I needed.’

But Ashley wanted more. Ten months after they began dating, he suddenly announced he’d left his wife.

‘It came out of the blue,’ says Marie, ‘he said he and his wife had told the children that they were separating and he was going to buy his own place, but they knew nothing about me.’

The couple began seeing one another more with Ashley visiting Marie several times a week and going away for romantic weekends in luxury hotels.

‘When I booked a family holiday to Kos, Ashley even flew out for five days to join the children and myself,’ says Marie, ‘they met him and everyone really hit it off.’

However, four months after Ashley said he’d left his wife, in October 2017 she received a shocking phone call.

‘Three days before Ashley had told me how much he loved me. Now suddenly he rang and coldly said, “I don’t want to see you anymore.” I was crying on the phone. I couldn’t understand what had gone wrong.’

A few hours later she received a message via Facebook from his daughter. ‘She said I was pathetic, a marriage wrecker and no wonder I was on my own with three children. Her words were so cruel and hurtful. After all I wasn’t the person having an affair – her father was.’

Shortly after his wife also messaged Marie. ‘She repeated lots of stuff I’d confided in Ashley which felt such a betrayal. She said he was always trawling online affairs websites but the bottom line was he would always go back to her.’

It was then Marie googled Ashley’s name to find him listed as a bankrupt.

‘I was devastated,’ she says, ‘it seemed everything he’d told me was a lie. He even tried to accuse me of harassing him when it was him pursuing me for a relationship.

‘It seemed as if Ashley were a fantasist and I was just a pawn in some sort of bizarre game with his wife. I felt so humiliated and stupid for believing him. I’d let myself be duped by this person.’

Marie sank into a depression. ‘The worst part was telling the children Ashley wasn’t the person we all thought he was. They were upset too. It was such a low point.’

She adds: ‘People might say I knew what I was getting into when I went on an affairs website. But maybe I am too nice – certainly I realise now I was foolish - but I never expected to be treated like this.’

Marie is telling her story to warn women not to join no-strings websites. ‘I can imagine some might say I joined an affairs website so must have known what I was letting myself in for.

‘But in hindsight I was very vulnerable because I’d just come out of a very long relationship. I am the sort of person who takes people at face value. But I was far too trusting.’

Shockingly she claims many affairs sites appear to be linked. ‘When you join one, you don’t realise your details will be circulated to others. I was stunned to find my details weren’t just on the one I thought I was joining but many others. I now wonder if that’s why I received so many horrible photos.’

She adds: ‘I now feel lucky I didn’t come to more harm. These websites truly do attract some very unsavoury men.

‘And worryingly it’s the men who seem the most normal who might be the most deceitful and dangerous of all.’